Game 64 Scores

The lights are back on and the crowd has piled back into the legendary Hart Dungeon to witness what will certainly be a blood-bath of the last 3 games of the 2022-2023 AHL Regular Season. With so many spots up for grabs in the playoffs, and so many matchups yet to be determined, you can bet many an anus is puckered in anticipation for the destruction to come.

3 Stars:
O’Reilly 3G 1A
Marner 5A
Tavares 1G 3A


Sting 3 Vs Dutchies 4.5

The first game of the night saw the Rick Martel-like arrogance of the Sting (having put in 2 players who were not in their respective teams’ lineups) take on the head of the Oranje Men. All seemed to be going in the Sting’s favour until the Dutchies stole Sting’s cologne mister, spraying the Sting with his own arrogance eau de toilette. While Sting was blinded, the Dutchies snuck Garland into the ring who delivered a chair shot heard round the world. Garland’s 1.5 was the difference maker in this one. Dutchies stay hot on the Hacker’s trail.


Oles 7 Vs. Flash 3.5

This Royal Rumble started out with shots being exchanged back and forth. The 1-2-3 Kid (aka Alex Tuch) looked like he was going to score an upset having easily tossed out Razor Ramon (Jack Hughes). The surprise return of the Towers of Power however, spelled certain doom for the Kid’s short run. Both Marner and McDavid show up and stomp monstrous 2.5’s each into the Kid’s face sending him into a beautiful double flip over the top. Who can stop the might of the Oles?



Kickass 1 Vs. Doctors 1

This was a first at the Calgary Stampede; A one-legged ass kicking contest! The scheming Doctors thought this would be a walk in the park as they brought a knife to cut the ties that bound their legs together. Surely, with both legs available and all 10 players in his roster at his disposal, the Doctors would plow through the Kickass. To everyone’s surprise, the Kickass not only had his one leg tied, but also one arm tied behind his back to send a message! Kickass delivered a beating not seen since the Ultimate Warrior plowed through Barry Horowitz in ’88!! The Kickass 3 somehow defeat the Doctor 10 sending the middle of the pack cronies crying in shame. Kickass keep their playoff hopes alive for one more game.


Foundation 4 Vs. Avs 1.5

Every wrestling card always has a couple of jobber matches and this one was no different. The Avs, channeling their inner Gillberg, get dummied from the bell all the way until the Foundation wrap Gillberg and Co in their patented sharpshooter. The Avs scream for mercy, but the Foundation only delivers a heart felt ‘Good Luck’ for next season. The Avs will be hitting the gym in the offseason.


Hackers 5.5 Vs. Bombers 1.5

Jobber match #2 wasn’t even a match. On their way down the ramp to the ring, the Hackers pull the poor, unsuspecting Bombers who are clearly just spectators on this night over the guard rail for the throttling of the Bomber’s career. Ok, well, not really of their career, but it was still a beating any heel manager would be proud of. By the time the Bombers come to, it’s too late. The Hackers and O’Reilly walk away victorious with their hands held high. Pick on someone your own size you Hacker basta@#$!


Posse 3.5 Vs. Wai’s 2.5

This was the closest match of the night. Even though it felt as if having a member of the Leafs’ stable would mean certain victory, that wasn’t the case for Wais aka the only contender to lose with a Monster Leaf in their lineup tonight. Many were sitting on the sidelines with crossed fingers hoping the Posse fell victim to Wai, but Posse were determined to keep their playoff dreams alive. Just when the match looked it’s bleakest, the Posse whip out their not-so-secret weapon…their Leon Draisaitl. When Wai saw the size of the Draisaitl, not even Tavares could keep him from running to the back in terror. By virtue of a count out, the Posse pull this one out and move into a playoff position.

Scores to come…

Code:


 
Standings After Game 64
 
    Team      Wins Loss Ties  Pts  GF      GA    Streak
 
Team              W      L    T    PTS    GF      GA      Streak
x-1.  Oles        52    11    1    105    314.0    165.0    W9
x-2.  Foundation  45    17    2    92    288.5    191.0    W1
x-3.  Hackers    34    27    3    71    269.0    227.5    W10
x-4.  Dutchies    34    29    1    69    217.0    188.5    W1
5.  Witch Docs  28    34    2    58    163.0    225.5    U2

6.  Flash      28    35    1    57    170.0    208.5    L4
6.  Sting      28    35    1    57    194.0    182.5    L1
8.  Kickass    27    35    2    56    164.0    209.5    U4
8.  Posse      27    35    2    56    183.5    214.5    W1

___________________________________________________________


10.  V-Bees      25    38    1    51    171.0    211.5    L1
E - 11.  Wais      22    39    3    47    173.5    208.0    L3
E - 12.  The Avs    23    40    1    47    142.5    212.0    L2

           
 
 


Love this commentary!

A few notes:
Has anyone going into the playoffs ever been hotter than the Hackers

Not fair to rip on the Hackers...........the only people in wrestling the same size as the VB's are the midgets that wrestled in a tag team match at WrestleMania with King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd!

Is Kickass gonna make the playoffs and win a championship with 5 players in their lineup every night????

Can the Oles carry through and avoid past curses of the Prez?

Are the Dutchies a contender or a pretender????

Who will be the odd man out in the 5-9 race????

PS, The Posse called me their best friend today..............mostly because he has no clue who owns what goalies.............